It happened again. There I was, trying on clothes at the Nordstrom Rack, and I found myself in tears. Now as somebody who has been overweight for as long as she can remember, this isn’t anything new. Many times I found myself crying while trying on clothes, wondering why even the largest sizes wouldn’t fit. I always knew I was on the larger side, but never thought of myself as so large I would have to shop at special stores.
Shopping for high school dances was always a nightmare. The junior’s section would carry junior’s sizes and those would never work. Although I am on the shorter side, the short dresses would always be so tight and so short that I never would have passed a fingertip test to get in to the dance. As it was, one of my most embarrassing dance experiences was when a teacher called me out on my dress being too low-cut. I never meant for that to happen, but it was what passed as fitting at the time. Why would I have wanted to wear something like that anyway? Why would I want to feel uncomfortable for an entire night of dancing? To be like everyone else. I was at a stage in my life where I was hell-bent on fitting in, no matter what that meant.